Witing Tresna Jalaran Saka Kulina

Are you the friend who’s always there to listen when someone needs to talk? Do you say, “I’m all ears” when someone shares their struggles? If so, you might consider yourself a good listener. But what about becoming an active listener? Some people might think that active listening is simply nodding along and saying, “I understand.” But true active listening goes beyond that—it’s about being fully present, paying attention to not only the words but also the tone, body language, and even the silences. It involves engaging thoughtfully, asking meaningful questions, and paraphrasing in a way that shows you’re genuinely understanding and connecting with the speaker. You might assume it’s easy, especially when the person speaking is someone you care about. But active listening comes with its own set of challenges. Here’s what to expect: 1. Emotional Fatigue : Truly engaging with someone’s emotions can drain your energy, especially during long or intense conversations. 2. Resisting the Urge...

I’m sure many of us have been told countless times that first impressions matter. When we meet someone for the first time, we tend to be on our best behavior so they won’t get the wrong idea about us—or, ideally, so they’ll see us as a “good person,” especially if that someone is important, like a hiring manager. I agree with this, to an extent, but I think there's a problem with putting so much emphasis on first impressions. Here’s why. The Case of RBF As someone with RBF (Resting "Blank" Face), I’ve noticed that when I meet someone new, especially unintentionally, they often see me as cold, unfriendly, or unapproachable. It might sound exaggerated, but I know I’m not the only one—RBF is common! This makes it hard for people like me to make a “good” impression right off the bat, simply because of how our facial expressions are perceived. The problem is, because so many people believe first impressions reveal a lot about someone, they may think they know us based on that ...

Most people enjoy getting compliments—I mean, who wouldn’t? Feeling acknowledged, praised, and appreciated can give you butterflies. But for some reason, compliments make me feel a little different. Sometimes, they seem more like pressure than praise. Take this example: when people compliment me for looking good, being smart, or doing a great job, a series of questions runs through my mind: Did they really mean it? Were they just being nice? Or, worse, were they mocking me because I’m the opposite of what they said? Even when I confirm that they genuinely meant it, a new fear creeps in: if they think highly of me, does that mean they expect me to always look and perform this way? What if I can’t live up to their expectations? Will they be disappointed? Will they stop being my friends? I know this might sound dramatic, but I can’t be the only one who thinks this way, right? One way I’ve learned to cope with these thoughts is through a piece of advice I once received from a teacher. She ...

Every day we see something new, learn something new, and inevitably, those things affect the way we see the world. As we grow, our perspectives shift, and sometimes that change feels overwhelming. This is what we call a paradigm shift—a major change in the way we understand ourselves and the world around us. It can feel confusing, but it’s also a sign that you’re growing. So, how do you navigate these shifts without losing your way? Here are some simple steps to help you through it: 1. Accept the Change Paradigm shifts often mean that things aren’t going according to the plan you had in your head. That’s okay. Change doesn’t mean failure. Instead, it’s a chance to see things from a new perspective. The sooner you accept that things may not go as expected, the easier it will be to embrace the growth that comes with it. 2. Reframe Your Expectations You may feel pressure to meet certain goals or live up to old expectations, but growth sometimes means letting go of those rigid ideas. Ask y...