Compliments: Confidence Booster or Killer?

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Most people enjoy getting compliments—I mean, who wouldn’t? Feeling acknowledged, praised, and appreciated can give you butterflies. But for some reason, compliments make me feel a little different. Sometimes, they seem more like pressure than praise.

Take this example: when people compliment me for looking good, being smart, or doing a great job, a series of questions runs through my mind:

Did they really mean it?

Were they just being nice?

Or, worse, were they mocking me because I’m the opposite of what they said?


Even when I confirm that they genuinely meant it, a new fear creeps in: if they think highly of me, does that mean they expect me to always look and perform this way? What if I can’t live up to their expectations? Will they be disappointed? Will they stop being my friends?

I know this might sound dramatic, but I can’t be the only one who thinks this way, right?

One way I’ve learned to cope with these thoughts is through a piece of advice I once received from a teacher. She shared a prayer that Abu Bakr, a companion of the Prophet Muhammad, used to say whenever he received a compliment:

اللهم أنت أعلم مني بنفسي، وأنا أعلم بنفسي منهم، اللهم اجعلني خيرا مما يظنون، واغفر لي ما لا يعلمون، ولا تؤاخذني بما يقولون

It translates to: “O Allah, You know me better than I know myself, and I know myself better than they know me. O Allah, make me better than they think, and forgive me for what they do not know, and do not hold me accountable for what they say.”

This prayer helps remind me to stay humble and grounded, knowing that others’ praise doesn’t define me, and that any good they see is a blessing.

So, what about you? Do compliments boost your confidence or kill it? How do you handle the pressure of expectations? Let me know what you think!

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