REHAT SEJENAK

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Mungkin kalo dihitung sampai hari ini udah hampir seminggu kali ya gua ga buka instagram. awalnya gua masih harus ngunci aplikasi biar ga tergoda buat ngebuka tu satu medsos, sampe akhirnya sekarang kaya emang lagi ga pengen aja gitu.

sebenernya gua itu bisa dikategorikan sebagai pengguna medsos yang sangat pasif si. gak pernah posting feed, posting story paling seminggu ato bahkan sebulan sekali. karna ya, selalu mikirnya buat apa sih. 

tapi gua adalah pengguna pasif yg sangat aktif, gua sering baget buka ig, liat postingan orang, nonton reels, mantengin story temen2. awalnya ngerasanya gada beban gitu, karna ya buat gue ig tuh pure buat kebutuhan hiburan aja gitu, terbukti dari explore gua yg isinya kebanyakan meme, sama challenge joget xixi. 

cuma, entah sejak kapan gua jadi lebih sering mantegin beranda gua yg kebanyakan isinya akun2 masa depan. maksudnya yg kaya ngebahas pendidikan, karir, sukses dan sebagainya. 

sejak itu gua jadi suka kepikiran gitu setiap nemuin orng2 yg seumuran sama gua tapi has already been on top, with ton of achievements and accomplishments. yang bikin gua ngerasa gua ada apanya si kalo dibandingin sama mereka yg padahal seumuran sama gua, bahkan banyak yg lebih muda.

mungkin tahun2 sebelumnya, ngeliat orng keren di medsos bebannya ga seberat sekarang karna dulu gua selalu meyakini, toh mereka lebih tua, wajar pencapaiannya udah segudang, nanti gua juga bisa paling. 

tapi nginjek kepala 2, trus makin kesini makin tua lagi, mulai bermunculan lah org2 keren yg biasanya muncul di timeline dari anak gen Z. 

semua hal ini mau gak mau menstimulus rasa cemas gua sambil terngiang2 di kepala chores lagunya olivia rodrigo jealousy jealousy 

Co-comparison is killin' me slowly
I think, I think too much
'Bout kids who don't know me
I'm so sick of myself
I'd rather be, rather be
Anyone, anyone else
But jealousy, jealousy
Started followin' me (he-he-he, he-he)
Started followin' me (he-he-he, he-he)

dan ya, sepertinya ini saatnya rehat sejenak dari instagram. ya setidaknya sedikit berguna lah gua kuliah di fakultas psikologi buat coping my own anxiety. 
mencoba bantu diri gua buat ttp waras, and tryna focus on my on shit. 

and...
that's it

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