Witing Tresna Jalaran Saka Kulina

This piece stems from a conversation I had with a friend the other day. Out of the blue, he asked me, “What does happiness mean to you?” Honestly, I was caught off guard and didn’t know how to answer. I even stuttered a bit before saying something like, “Happiness is when you’re mentally healthy, your needs are met, you’re physically healthy, and you get what you want.” But as soon as I said it, I questioned myself: “Is that really true?” I realized that I’ve never actually defined what “happiness” means to me. For the longest time, I thought happiness was just about encountering or experiencing pleasant things—like buying something from my wishlist (on the material side) or receiving a compliment (on the non-material side). But now I’m starting to wonder: Are those really happiness? Or are they just fleeting moments of pleasure? For the next two days, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I even searched online to see what others had to say about happiness. Some said, “Happiness is the f...

kamu yang hari itu lupa membawa payung nampaknya hanya bisa berdiri mematung di tepi bangunan, melindungi diri agar tak kebasahan. tapi sayangnya setengah badanmu sudah kuyup terkena percikan air hujan. aduhai, kasihan sekali. satu jam sudah berlalu, hujan tak kunjung berhenti. kamu mulai menggigil menahan dingin yang kian merasuk sampai tulang. oh kentang, nasib baik sepertinya memang sedang tak berpihak, angkutan umum yang biasanya berebut penumpang tak satupun lewat, ojek online pun sudah dua kali menolakmu karena sepertinya tak mau repot-repot menerobos hujan di kota kita yang kamu tahu sendiri bagaimana. beberapa teman yang coba kamu hubungi juga sepertinya belum bisa membantu, sedang aku saat itu sepertinya masih lelap tertidur dengan ponsel yang tak menyala.  "aaa sampai kapan gua harus nunggu di sini..?" tiba-tiba tinnnnn!!! dari arah matahari terbenam, samar-samar kamu melihat sosok hitam menggendarai motor matic yang setengah bannya direndam air berlumpur mengarah k...

Are you the friend who’s always there to listen when someone needs to talk? Do you say, “I’m all ears” when someone shares their struggles? If so, you might consider yourself a good listener. But what about becoming an active listener? Some people might think that active listening is simply nodding along and saying, “I understand.” But true active listening goes beyond that—it’s about being fully present, paying attention to not only the words but also the tone, body language, and even the silences. It involves engaging thoughtfully, asking meaningful questions, and paraphrasing in a way that shows you’re genuinely understanding and connecting with the speaker. You might assume it’s easy, especially when the person speaking is someone you care about. But active listening comes with its own set of challenges. Here’s what to expect: 1. Emotional Fatigue : Truly engaging with someone’s emotions can drain your energy, especially during long or intense conversations. 2. Resisting the Urge...

Being a teacher—what a sophisticated occupation, don’t you think? Transferring knowledge, shaping minds, guiding students in countless ways, and even acting as second parents. It’s a huge responsibility, one that should never be taken lightly. And being a teacher often feels like striving for perfection. Students look up to you, as do their parents—and maybe even the government (if they ever paid attention to our underfunded education system, haha). You’re expected to be fair, consistent, neither too strict nor too lenient, resourceful, wise... the list goes on. I had this thought while grading my students’ weekly essays. One essay wasn’t bad, and I gave it a B-. But then I flipped to the student’s previous work and realized it was of similar quality—yet I had given it an A+. I paused, thinking, Why am I so inconsistent? This isn’t the only time I’ve noticed such discrepancies. There was a time I disciplined one student harshly for a mistake, but when another student made the sam...

I’m sure many of us have been told countless times that first impressions matter. When we meet someone for the first time, we tend to be on our best behavior so they won’t get the wrong idea about us—or, ideally, so they’ll see us as a “good person,” especially if that someone is important, like a hiring manager. I agree with this, to an extent, but I think there's a problem with putting so much emphasis on first impressions. Here’s why. The Case of RBF As someone with RBF (Resting "Blank" Face), I’ve noticed that when I meet someone new, especially unintentionally, they often see me as cold, unfriendly, or unapproachable. It might sound exaggerated, but I know I’m not the only one—RBF is common! This makes it hard for people like me to make a “good” impression right off the bat, simply because of how our facial expressions are perceived. The problem is, because so many people believe first impressions reveal a lot about someone, they may think they know us based on that ...

Most people enjoy getting compliments—I mean, who wouldn’t? Feeling acknowledged, praised, and appreciated can give you butterflies. But for some reason, compliments make me feel a little different. Sometimes, they seem more like pressure than praise. Take this example: when people compliment me for looking good, being smart, or doing a great job, a series of questions runs through my mind: Did they really mean it? Were they just being nice? Or, worse, were they mocking me because I’m the opposite of what they said? Even when I confirm that they genuinely meant it, a new fear creeps in: if they think highly of me, does that mean they expect me to always look and perform this way? What if I can’t live up to their expectations? Will they be disappointed? Will they stop being my friends? I know this might sound dramatic, but I can’t be the only one who thinks this way, right? One way I’ve learned to cope with these thoughts is through a piece of advice I once received from a teacher. She ...

I'm sure you've heard of the "my skin but better" trend—a movement that shows you how to achieve a flawless look with minimal products and effort. It encourages you to embrace your natural beauty without over-enhancing your features with too much makeup. Sounds so positive, doesn’t it? But is that really all there is to it? Let’s unfold together the ugly truth behind this trend. In recent years, the beauty industry has seen a surge in popularity for the "my skin but better" trend. This trend promises a natural, effortless look that highlights your skin's best features while downplaying imperfections. While this concept sounds appealing, there’s an ugly truth lurking beneath the surface. Unrealistic Expectations At its core, the "my skin but better" trend promotes the idea that anyone can achieve a flawless, natural appearance. However, the models and influencers showcased in advertising often possess near-perfect skin, which sets an unrealistic...

Every day we see something new, learn something new, and inevitably, those things affect the way we see the world. As we grow, our perspectives shift, and sometimes that change feels overwhelming. This is what we call a paradigm shift—a major change in the way we understand ourselves and the world around us. It can feel confusing, but it’s also a sign that you’re growing. So, how do you navigate these shifts without losing your way? Here are some simple steps to help you through it: 1. Accept the Change Paradigm shifts often mean that things aren’t going according to the plan you had in your head. That’s okay. Change doesn’t mean failure. Instead, it’s a chance to see things from a new perspective. The sooner you accept that things may not go as expected, the easier it will be to embrace the growth that comes with it. 2. Reframe Your Expectations You may feel pressure to meet certain goals or live up to old expectations, but growth sometimes means letting go of those rigid ideas. Ask y...

dendam,  kenapa kamu tak sirna bila tak terbalas kenapa kau tak minggat bila ia tak sekarat kenapa kau baru senang bila dia sudah menderita bukannya lukanya takkan sembuhkan lukamu apakah perihnya akan sirnakan perihmu bukannya harusnya kau sibuk sembuhkan dirimu bukan malah heboh teriakan sakitmu sudahlah cukup mari lupakan saja tak usah pedulikan tapi tolong juga maafkan biar tentram di jiwa  damai dadamu lapang hatimu jernih pikiranmu bila tak mampu berdiamlah dulu jangan buru2 biar cepat hilang sakitmu

Urgensi menghafal Al Qur'an bagi tiap individu mungkin berbeda-beda. dalam islam pun menghafalkannya tidak wajib hukumnya. Tapi, saya yakin bilamana seorang muslim ditanya "inginkah anda menjadi seorang penghafal Al'Quran?" jawabannya tidak mungkin tidak. Salah satu azam yang saya miliki sebelum berangkat studi ke Mesir adalah bisa khatam (hafal) Al Quran sepulangnya ke tanah air. dulu dalam bayangan saya, tidak mungkin seorang Azhari tidak mampu menghafal Al Qur'an. apalagi dengan eksistensi Al Azhar sebagai kiblatnya ilmu pengetahuan. pastilah sarana dan prasarananya sangat mendukung untuk tujuan tersebut. Ekpetasi saya memang tidak meleset, karena memang faktanya Al Azhar telah menyediakan fasilitas sedemikian rupa untuk menghafal Al Qur'an. tak hanya itu, selain Al Azhar juga masih banyak lembaga2 maupun komunitas mahasiswa indonesia yang dibentuk sebagai sarana untuk menghafal Al Qur'an. seperti PTQI, maquro, dar al wasila, RTM dan masih banyak l...

Mungkin kalo dihitung sampai hari ini udah hampir seminggu kali ya gua ga buka instagram. awalnya gua masih harus ngunci aplikasi biar ga tergoda buat ngebuka tu satu medsos, sampe akhirnya sekarang kaya emang lagi ga pengen aja gitu. sebenernya gua itu bisa dikategorikan sebagai pengguna medsos yang sangat pasif si. gak pernah posting feed, posting story paling seminggu ato bahkan sebulan sekali. karna ya, selalu mikirnya buat apa sih.  tapi gua adalah pengguna pasif yg sangat aktif, gua sering baget buka ig, liat postingan orang, nonton reels, mantengin story temen2. awalnya ngerasanya gada beban gitu, karna ya buat gue ig tuh pure buat kebutuhan hiburan aja gitu, terbukti dari explore gua yg isinya kebanyakan meme, sama challenge joget xixi.  cuma, entah sejak kapan gua jadi lebih sering mantegin beranda gua yg kebanyakan isinya akun2 masa depan. maksudnya yg kaya ngebahas pendidikan, karir, sukses dan sebagainya.  sejak itu gua jadi suka kepikiran gitu setiap nemuin o...

sebuah opini  tiap hari, tiap waktu, akan selalu ada orang yg datang dan pergi di dalam hidup. kadang pergi satu datang seribu, tapi bisa juga datang satu yg pergi seribu. dengan orang2 yg pada dateng itu terjalin pelbagai hubungan, ada yg cuma sekedar rekan kerja, ada juga yg berakhir jadi temen, temen deket, temen deket banget, bestie, sahabat, gebetan, pacar, kaka adek ketemu gede, ato mungkin sampai jadi pasutri dan sebagainya. di antara hubungan2 yg terjalin itu, ada yg diharapkan untuk tetap begitu, ga berubah sampai sebisanya. tapi ada juga yg justru diharapkan biar cepat kandas, berakhir, sirna, lalu terlupakan, tsadeesst... ya begitulah, namanya juga hidup, dinamis, segala sesuatunya pasti bisa berubah, jadi format apapun. kadang bisa diprediksi, tapi juga seringnya engga, banyak kejutan. soal hubungan yg kita harepin buat tetap begitu, ga berubah. pasti banyak kan, tapi nyadar gasi justru banyak dari hubungan2 ini malah kandas duluan daripada hubungan yg kita harepin cuk...

DAY FOUR  talking about palces i wanna visit, honestly i don't have any specific name of a city, nor country, nor destination. but in general i really want to visit beach, any beach.  it's been a while since the last time i visited a beach, maybe about 6 month ago. pas gua lagi liburan ke indo, gua ke Anyer bareng keluarga gua. kenapa pantai? gatau kenapa, buat gua aroma laut, anginnya, suasanya, warna birunya, bener2 bawa ketenangan ampe ke tulang gitu haha. cuma sebenernya trip gua ke pantai yg lalu gak terlalu berkesan sih. karna gua kesananya sama rombongan, yg malah jadinya sibuk sama foto2 gitu. pas ke Alex, ke Ain Sokhna, ke Anyer, ke Sydney gua selalu pergi bareng banyak manusia gitu, jadi esensi keindahan pantainya tu kurang dapet gitulo.  jadi, my dream trip edisi pantai 1. gua pengen pergi sendiri, ato paling mentok sama 2-4 orang lah 2. gua gamau sibuk foto2 3. gua mau pake sandal, swimsuit tapi luarnya ttp pake baju lagi 4. gau mau nyari titik yg sepi, duduk ...

DAY TWO wah, masih awal-awal semangat nih, semoga ga kendor ye ampe yg ke-30.  talking about things that make me happy, it's very simple actually. simple things make me happy. mulai dari hal2 materil kayak gua tu seneng kalo punya uang banyak, ga harus banyak banget inimah semua orang kali ya, yg penting jumlahnya bisa ngebikin gua ngerasa secure lah. trus gua seneng banget kalo tempat tinggal gua rapih, minimalis, bersih. gua suka kalo lemari gua itu tonenya senada, earth tone gitu, jadi terlihat simpel dan gak complicated, gua bahagia dan tenang ketika stok skincare aman haha. itu aja kali ya yg keinget  terus kalo hal2 imateriel, gua seneng kalo pola tidur gua rapi. kalo cuaca bagus, kalo udara bersih. kalo jadwal belajar gua rapih. tugas gua selesai dengan baik dan tepat waktu. dan yg paling penting, mood gua stabil dan lagi gak hormonal, inimah intinya atuh. terus yg berhubungan sama manusia, gua seneng kalo ada orang yg minta bantuan ke gua, karna artinya dia percaya tu ...

DAY THREE  ya ampoon, hampir kelupaan bestie, 20 menit lagi udah ganti tanggal pula, untung keinget, masa baru hari ketiga udah ke skip seh... oke, hari ini gua mau ngomongin soal "memori".sebenernya gua bingung si mo nulis ttg apa, kayak ga ada yg memori spesifik yg terlintas gitu di kepala gua.  hmmm, apa ya let's talk about my childhood di Bandung (yg indah definitely). sebenernya ini rads sedih si, bukan memorinya, tapi kenyataan bahwa gua tu ga begitu inget detailnya, khususnya memori yg indah2, dan entah kenapa yg buruk2 malah nempel banget gitu di otak gua, heran. jadi buat cerita yg mau gua tulis, gua cuma ngandelin cerita orang2 aja. bandung, agustus 2003 jadi di tempat gua itu, dulu setiap 17an pasti ngadain parti sekomplek gitu kan. kayak nanti ada banyak penampilan dari anak2 sampe orang gede.  nah salah satu penampilan itu tu, ada tari saman, yg tampil bocah2 sd tu, termasuk teteh gua. nah, gua yg masih bocil umur 3 tahun, yg lagi nonton bareng ibu gua tiba2 ...

Belajar dari Drama "Pyscho, but It's Okay" belajar memang tak terbatas medianya, tak melulu dari buku ataupun majelis ilmu, serial drama korea pun bisa jadi media pembelajaran bagi kita lo. Pada kesempatan ini aku bakal mengulas salah satu serial drama yang baru-baru ini jadi trending di Netflix, Pyscho, But it's okay. Drama bergenre romance ini menceritakan kisah cinta antara seorang perawat di sebuah rumah sakit jiwa, Moon Kang Tae (Kim So Hyun) dengan Ko Moon Young (So Ye Ji) seorang penulis dongeng anak yang populer dan cantik jelita. Sebenernya gak jauh beda sama kisah cinta di drama korea kebanyakan, yg awalnya benci jadi cinta, lalu berakhir bahagia. Aku pribadi sebenernya ga terlalu suka genre ini. Tapi setelah melihat ulasan2 yang bilang kalo drama ini sering disebut sebagai healing drama karena sarat akan pesan-pesan tentang pentingnya kesehatan mental. Aku jadi tertarik untuk coba tonton, dan ternyata terbukti. Bahkan gak cuma itu, drama ini jug...

Punya banyak deadline, rutintas padat, namun hanya punya sedikit waktu kadang mendorong kita untuk jadi multitasker. Atas nama efisiensi waktu, kita kerap memaksa diri kita untuk menyelesaikan dua pekerjaan atau lebih dalam satu waktu sekaligus. Contohnya saat kita di perkuliahan, sambil mendengarkan dosen kita nyambi periksa HP buka whatsApp kirim pesan ke partner kerja. Atau saat sedang buka laptop nulis artikel majalah dibarengi nonton drama Korea. Tapi sadarkah kamu, kalau faktanya otak kita itu tidak bisa fokus ke dua pekerjaan atau lebih dalam satu waktu. Apalagi bila aktifitas yang dilakukan dalam satu waktu itu menggunakan otak yang sama. Misal saat kamu membaca buku sambil mendengar lagu berlirik, kamu berarti memaksa otakmu untuk memahami apa yang kamu baca sekaligus mencerna lirik lagu yang sedang kamu dengar. Ini tentu akan memperberat kerja otak kita. Keseringan multitasking, apalagi dalam hal-hal kompleks, kita sama aja memaksa otak kita selalu mereset ulang dirinya unt...